I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
