its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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