Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
