I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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