The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
