my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
