SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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