Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
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