It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
