You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
