I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Randomize
