Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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