Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
