he thought i was a dude.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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