is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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