sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
