My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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