that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
