So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
