can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
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