She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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