chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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