Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm jealous of your bromance
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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