Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Randomize