my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize