you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
