That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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