New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize