I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
