I love black thongs
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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