how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
