All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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