we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize