you win again, gameday.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
