Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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