I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
