P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
