i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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