woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
