Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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