I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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