You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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