im calling her cock vulture from now on
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
