The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I deserve this hangover.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize