So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
