I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
