Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I will be naked everywhere
Found the puke drawer
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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