protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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