And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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