Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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