I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
