his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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