no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
