I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Randomize
