so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
