I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Damn victory sex feels great
please don't ironically join a cult
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