i don't want you to think of me as your TA
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
