Midget sex pt 2 tonight
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
