The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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