That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
