one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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