I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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